As has been widely reported, Levens grew up in the projects of Philadelphia and had been on his own since 15. And he was on a five fight losing streak.

How this excuses him from killing himself and his wife (allegedly) is beyond us. It surely didn’t impact us. We grew up in the streets too. Our parents beat us senseless. First girlfriend…cut the old penis off with a knife and threw it in a fireplace…that was burning.

Except replace “grew up in the streets” with “lived by a lake in a cul-de-sac.” And replace “parents beat us senseless” with “nurtured us with love and gave us everything we wanted, particularly when we cried.” Oh yeah, replace the girlfriend cutting the penis off part with “gave blowjobs for hours at a time.”

Otherwise, we grew up just like Justin Levens. Pretty much the exact same upbringing. Read more about the uncanny parallels here.